今天的節目，各位會學到幾個常見的醫學名詞。例如，high blood pressure 高血壓，diabetes 糖尿病，scar 疤痕。
Actual conversation I had with a guy a week ago.
Any past medical history?
"High blood pressure. That's it"
No other history?
"Nope. That's it."
(Proceed to take off his shirt.)
Sir. What is that huge scar on your chest?
"Oh that's from my triple bypass."
That's medical history sir. Anything else you want to add in now?
"Oh does CHF and diabetes count? I have those also"
This happened to me 3 days ago! A guy came in with a wheelchair.
"Do you have any medical issues?"
"…. Umm, why are you in a wheelchair?"
"Oh, I have a degenerative neuromuscular condition. And type 2 diabetes."
I admitted a guy for pneumonia, which was odd because he was young and strong, no other medical issues, x-ray didn't look quite right. The pieces just didn't add up and so I started questioning him more closely.
Me: Do you use any drugs? Patient: Drugs! That's disgusting. I'm not a druggie! I've never touched drugs in my life.
I move on to other questions and suddenly:
Patient "ok, doc, I just want you to know I may have used cocaine once or twice many years ago. I just snorted it though. That wouldn't cause this, right? Me: How long ago? Patient: Like ten years, maybe longer. Me: It shouldn't be affecting you after this long. Patient: ok ok, well actually, more like five. Me: Years? Patient: Uh, like five months ago.
This goes on forever, until he admits he spent the past three days in a hotel with some people smoking crack non-stop. He finishes with: "But I don't want you to think I'm one of those dirty druggies.”
No, I think you're the idiot who lied and was getting treated for pneumonia instead of getting the proper treatment for crack lung, which is what he had.
Here's a tip: I genuinely don't care. I'm not your momma, your spouse, or your priest. Don't waste my time and endanger your health. Whatever horrible twisted thing you think is too shameful to talk about, I promise you, I've seen worse.
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